Mani interneta memuāri

fotOblog.lv forumā nospēru lietotājam Briedis dažas jaukas atziņas :) Zinot, ka arī viņš tās ir atradis, sirdsapziņas pārmetumu man nav. jāzin english

• asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
• We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
• We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
• Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
• Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
• My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
• Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
• If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
• Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
• If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks
• I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian